


Crushing Disappointment

by Lucas_the_Beta_Cat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Don't Forget Me, Funeral Pyre, M/M, angel!Marco, jeanarmin - Freeform, jeanmarco, marmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:45:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6253471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucas_the_Beta_Cat/pseuds/Lucas_the_Beta_Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco had never been the loudest one on the squad, neither had he been the richest or the most handsome. His death didn't really noticeably affect anyone except Jean. Or so it seemed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crushing Disappointment

Marco had never been the loudest one on the squad, neither had he been the richest or the most handsome. His death didn't really noticeably affect anyone except Jean. Or so it seemed.

Armin had met Marco when they'd started training, watching as Shadis the A-Grade dickhead headbutted Jean and caused him to fall to the ground, and then yell his ass off at Marco. He hadn't really made much of an impression on the small blonde boy. But he was slightly memorable, according to Armin as he, Mikasa and Eren recounted the day that night at supper.

A few weeks later Armin had run into Marco when he was in the library, and the two had struck up a conversation. Marco had admitted his love of stories, and the two had clicked immediately as Armin was a little fanboy when it came to books. The two had stayed up late that night, sitting on a chair by a candle and taking it in turn to read out stories to one another, and missing the curfew had meant nothing to them, even though Shadis was pissed off about it the next day. The two had connected, and the connection wasn't going to fade anytime soon.

By the time the mid-semester training exam came around, Armin thoroughly adored Marco, with the smile that pretty much no one could resist. Marco in turn thought Armin adorable and made sure the blonde boy took care of himself, making sure he ate and actually slept at night even though Armin spent long hours memorising the training regimes they went through. The tall, dark haired young man had sometimes held Armin at night to stop his nightmares and any monsters that Armin was sure lurked around in the dark, which made Armin feel much safer.

Throughout the three years that they had trained there, Marco and Armin had been each others' closest confident and had been the best of friends. They'd cried together when things had been hard and they'd laughed together and made so many memories Armin was sure that it would last forever. The other members in the training corps had teased them about it, calling them “The Bodts or the Arlerts” or asking when their wedding would be. Even Shadis had taken to it, calling Armin and Marco both by Marco's last name, causing both Armin and Marco to blush and look away from either each other or anyone else.

On the day that Wall Maria had been destroyed, Marco had hugged Armin before they left the barracks. Just one hug that had meant that they'd see each other again after that mess was over. That everything would be normal after the titans were defeated.

Marco had disappeared during the fighting, and Armin, though he was worried as fuck about Eren, worried for Marco as well. When he'd found out Marco had been killed by a Titan, Armin was devastated beyond words. No one to share late night stories that made them both giggle until they were breathless at trying to be quiet while the others slept. No one to maintain his equipment with – no one to make him smile and no one to make him cry. Armin was lost – he didn't know what to do without Marco.

So standing there, beside the fires of their dead comrades, Armin desperately tried to hold back his tears as Jean downright sobbed. Eren and Mikasa weren't there – he didn't know where they were, but he knew that he was going to miss Marco like hell. More than that, actually, when he was honest with himself.

To be honest, Armin had been trying to figure out how he felt about Marco before his death. He didn't know why he blushed when Marco's hand brushed across his and he didn't know why he felt so self-conscious around him. When Marco called his name he felt ecstatic happiness and when Marco was too busy to see anyone else he felt crushing disappointment. He was, in short, in love with Marco Bodt, and he had always been too scared to admit it to him.

“Hey, Armin, isn't it funny that Jean's crying so hard??” Connie poked Armin and the blonde boy startled, unsure of what to say. To be quite honest, he knew exactly how Jean felt, but he was trying to be brave, even if only to stop the others from laughing at him and his crushing disappointment.

“S-Sure” Armin stammered, and suddenly he couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He started to cry, hating himself because he couldn't stop, he wasn't able to stop, he needed to stop, because this pain that was ripping through his chest was killing him, he swore to God.

“Damn Armin” Connie said half-apologetically. “I'm sorry”

“YOU MADE HIM CRY” Mikasa suddenly burst into the scene all ninja style and hugged Armin to her as the blonde boy sobbed. “YOU DIE NOW”

Cue Connie screaming and the sombre mood over the fires lifted. The group turned to watch and laugh as Mikasa beat the living shit out of Connie, Reiner and Bertholdt making jokes about Connie's situation especially. Jean walked over to Armin and hugged him wordlessly, and Armin hugged the tall boy back, understanding exactly what Jean was trying to converse through physical touch - I understand how you feel, and I'm here for you.

“H-he was my favourite person in the world” Jean mumbled into Armin's hair, and Armin sniffled.

“Mine too – he was the only one who understood books the way I do” The smaller boy sniffled, and Jean laughed a little.

“He was a bookworm alright” Jean said, remembering exactly how many hours a day Marco had spent in the library when they weren't training.

“Hey, Jean?” Armin looked up at the darker boy, and Jean nodded.

“Yeah?” He asked quietly.

“D-Do you think M-Marco might be watching us right now?” Armin's eyes were filled with sadness but a tiny spark of hope sat there too.

“I- yeah. I'm sure he's safe and happy now, and I'm sure he's watching over us, wherever he is” Jean replied with unshed tears in his eyes, and the two started crying again as they watched the smoke from the fires rise into the star-filled night sky.

_Up in Heaven Marco sat on the edge of a cloud, watching over Armin and Jean as they grieved for their angel, their Marco._

_“Of course I'm watching” He murmured with a sad smile, wiping away a tear. “I'll always watch over you two, you know that, don't you? I'll never forget either of you”_

And down on Earth Jean and Armin took comfort in the fact that though Marco was gone from this life, he was safe and happy in the next. And that was all they could ever ask.


End file.
